Chaff, 67(18), 2001-08-13 (2025)

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13 Cheap Thrills

14 MUSA Elections - The Candidate Profiles
16 Star Wars
18 Safari[...]

Chaff is the official newspaper of the
Massey University Students’ Association.

EDITO[...]Craig Bennison
DAMU
Hannah Nash
Clive and Piggy

The views and ideas expressed within
CHAFF are not necessarily those of
CHAFF newspaper, the Massey University
Students’ Association, Massey[...]advertisers and/or anyone
wearing a variation of the SEXIST

stickers - tsk tsk!

the editorial

The Rankin Menace

In this age of cynicism, it never[...]s actually served. Christine Rankin had us all
on the edge of our seats, mainly because most of us wanted
to reach into the television set and slap her. She could have
pulled off the lawsuit of the year, but sadly, there is a God,
and 10 does She have a sense of humour as She smites the
big—earringed one. I don’t know why I got so much pleasure
out of the case, but I feel it’s because it brings out all the
double standards in our society, and issues becom[...]footballs and you can switch sides every time you start
losing.

Rankin’s Public Relation’s advisor did her best to
portray Rankin as the Princess Leia/ damsel in distress.
Unfortunately,[...]really Darth Maul.
Evil, scary to look at, and in the end, not worth the fuss
over. Dispatched with a little effort, maybe cost a Jedi
knight or too, but still, insignificant in the whole scheme of
things. There are larger issues t[...]are too big, often too complicated
to understand. The fact the many of these things bore thethe
other channel. Should we care? Our free—market[...]ed with
ourselves, our lives, our future. We’re the “Me” Generation.
Excluded from the slacker Generation X by a measley couple
of years[...]ally at any rate. As students, we’re

always on the lookout for that infamous free lunch, which
we’[...]ally it was still paid for.

Perhaps that’s why the Star Wars thing just
won’t leave us alone. There are those that want to save
the world for the good of mankind, the Luke Skywalkers.
Of course, Luke seems dull compared to the one we draw
the most similarities with, Han Solo, the one who would
only do something after asking what[...]at’s not necessarily a good way to be. When was the
last time you committed a selfless act? (and by that, I
don’t mean the kind of act Uncle Trev spends a lot of his
time doing, contributing to his impaired eyesight).

The MUSA elections are next week. These are
people wi[...]mmit selfless acts, they’re prepared to
put in the hard hours to represent you. They’re the ones
that will have to play Skywalker for us, protecting and
defending us against the onslaught of university fees and
politics, so we can carry on, completing our degrees and
move on to the real world as smoothly as possible. At
least have the common decency to vote. The Rankin
Menace may have left the building, but who knows what
monstrosity WINZ / DWI will develop into next year, and
we’ll all need all the help we can get.

Sapphira

Ignoring the obvious - drowning in

the knowledge wave

The amount of $1.4 billion is currently being put int[...]f money, but it is
interesting to compare that to the $1.6 billion going into
defence. Especially given all the talk of ‘knowledge waves’
and the likes.

I think it is a useful comparison, because when we
look at it, the real threat to our country is not military, it is
cultural and economic. The question is: what kind of defence
do we have? There is a lot of talk about the knowledge
economy, but knowledge without wisdom i[...]m, I think we all accept
that education has to be the key, the number one priority in
terms of investment and qu[...]n more accessible, more
affordable, and to reduce the debt burden that is the bitter
legacy of nine long years of National Government.

But the student debt continues to rise — we will hit $5[...]2011 this amount would be $8.7 billion.
This year the estimate is that in 2011 it will in fact be $13
billion.

At the same time the number of loan borrowers has
increased almost 14[...]le, mostly young people: they face years
of debt, the loss of their credit status, inability to get
mor[...]ss.

This is incredibly serious stuff. Yet in all the talk
about bringing our young professionals home at the
‘Knowledge Wave’ conference, student debt and[...]our young people are fleeing overseas
because of the student debt they face. This Government has
not reduced debt. The Minister talks about a fee freeze.
That sounds li[...], not just restructuring, and
not just tinkering. The Tertiary Education Advisory
Commission model has[...]tertiary education.
That is useful after years of the disastrous competitive
model of the previous Government.

But there are a number of criticisms that need to be
addressed, including the involvement of stakeholders.

There needs to be more student and staff
representation in the Tertiary Education Advisory
Commission. The Minister announced last week a fund of
$35 millio[...]s decisions and to help them make a
transition to the new structures under the Tertiary
Education Advisory Commission, but it will not address
the fundamental issues.

It will not mean that tertia[...]ean that institutions can ensure
that they employ the best academics and researchers, and
the best educators. The Association of University Staff has
compared the 1.5 per cent wage increase for university
staff,[...]h low incomes.
Everyone is talking about catching the knowledge wave. I
hate those kind of cliches, but[...]conjures up an image
of loose hippies travelling the country smoking fatties in
beat—up VW Kombis, c[...]aves knows that you do
not desperately paddle for the first wave that comes along.
You sit out the back for a while, get the rhythm, work with
nature, recognise the patterns, and catch the right wave.

When we talk about increasing knowle[...]ty, we have to look at education. We
also have to start with early education, but how do we
support those[...]ple to enter into early
childhood teaching. It is the same disincentive in principle
that forces our yo[...]rseas
and discourages them from returning.

It is the biggest barrier this country faces to ever
catching — let alone riding — the ‘knowledge wave’. While
these expensive talk fests promote the rebirth of
Rogernomics and fail to recognise or address the obvious
structural problems facing educati[...]

Ms Welton explained the association’s sacrifices
throughout the crisis. Most notably, MUSA offered to
delay its m[...]uilding renovations. In an early
August report to the university council, MUSA said
Massey anticipated a lost $3.5 million if the original
funding offer was accepted.

The MUSA building upgrade, highlighted for 2002,
is estimated to cost $3 million. A 1995 agreement
between the students association and Massey arranged for
the matching of each MUSA dollar spent on the upgrade
by the university.

Last week however, MUSA announced that it was
prepared to postpone the renovations, saving the
university its $1.5 million contribution. Vice—[...]pressed his admiration for such a sacrifice, but
the university council has made no decision no delaying
the work.

Although pleased with the extra funding, Ms
Welton stresses that the Government must support its

talk of a knowledge economy with adequate funding:

“The pressure now must be on the Government to get
serious about reducing the costs of education. The tertiary
sector has suffered from underfunding fo[...]significant
contribution if we are sincere about the growth of such
things as the knowledge economy,” Ms Welton said.

TheThe money, available only to public institutions, has[...]igned to assist tertiary institutions
to adapt to the new changing tertiary environment.

Mr Maharey explained that the Tertiary Education
Strategic Change Fund will sup[...]ns, individually or collectively, to adapt during the
establishment of the new funding and regulatory system.
Operating during the 2002 year, the fund is comprised of
$18.1 million in operating e[...]nd a single—minded focus on student
enrolments. The time has long since come to get some
strategy back into the system.”

The additional funding however, does not provide for
higher wages for university staff, much to the distress of
national staff unions. Instead, the money is targeted at
specific projects. James McWha explained that although the
new funds did not allow for a percentage increase[...]ey unions will
meet with university management at the end of the month to
discuss pay demands.

‘

Government
Re[...]tion

Last Wednesday a petition aimed at stalling the
push to decriminalise marijuana was presented to NZ
First MP Brian Donnelly on the steps of Parliament.

The 36,000—signature petition, presented by the School
Trustees Association, is the biggest to be received this
parliamentary term. Mr Donnelly expressed his delight at
the effort to halt the legalisation or decriminalisation of
cannabis.

“The Government needs to listen to the voice of the
NZSTA whose members spend tens of thousands of
voluntary hours having to deal with the devastating effects
of this drug on young people. The decriminalisation or
legalisation of cannabis will make the task of educating
those students impossible,” s[...]ble
benefits and side effects of decriminalising the drug.

School Trustees Association President Chris
France rejects the argument supporting decriminalisation
for those over 18; he said the petition’s size is a poignant
message to politi[...]ng people,
and we think decriminalisation is just the wrong message
to be sending them,” Mr France commented.

National Organisation for the Reform of Marijuana Law
(NORML) representative Greg Henderson rejects the
stance that has been taken by NZSTA.

Mr Henderso[...]on did not
necessary result in increased usage of the drug:

“I do not reject claims that marijuana c[...]e a formula that will lead to an
understanding of the drug by the nation’s youth,” Mr
Henderson conclude[...]

As part of the Winter 2001 Recreation Programme,
Massey’s stud[...]supervision, to reassess their career options and
the appropriate academic course necessary to reach th[...]dance
professional Jenny Gordon—J ones endorses theThe workshop will be held in Massey’s Seminar
Room near the Recreation Centre on August 15 from 12.00
— 1.3[...]lude: one—on—one discussion of career issues; the use of
a computer—based career guidance program[...]on to an
appropriate person who has expertise in the arena of
inquiry.

Two main issues will be examined at the workshop:
a) Have I chosen the right path? and b) Who can help me
sort out caree[...]hnology/ science, biological sciences / medicine. The
activities offered at the workshop aim to assist a student in
determining their interests and the appropriate actions to
take.

Massey has several[...]d work experience coordinator and can be found on
the first floor of the Registry Building. She can organise
both work exp[...]hadowing opportunities
with relevant companies in the required career area. Ms
Gibbs also has a regular[...]ployment areas.

Also part of Massey’s team are the Student Liaison
Advisers. This team is comprised[...]and—Ross and Matiu Ratima — all three work on the
third floor of the Registry Building. These people can help
a student revise the ‘contents’ of their degree and assist in
sele[...]ying and meaningful nature. They will also assist the
transition from one degree course to another.

Ad[...]of departments. A variety of websites,
including the national database www.careers.co.nz offer
relevan[...]: "lulu-'1. 1 '..'--- "Fr-l IIr' “-
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Rent-A-Tree Scheme

The Massey University Fruit Crops Unit is once again[...]e tree on Massey’s
Palmerston North orchard for the growing season (July to
April 2002) from which th[...]us
years, in that Massey arbourists will care for the tree
themselves. Last year, tree renters were expected to take
part in caring for the tree over the season. This task,
however, proved too difficult[...]ting fruit yield.

“This year we will do all of the husbandry operations
necessary to grow the fruit to maturity. All you have to do is
harvest it when it is ready and we will let you know nearer
the time how our season is progressing,” explained[...]rning training sessions. Starting in late August, the
sessions cost around $20.

This year the apple varieties available are Royal Gala,
Galaxy,[...]Pink Lady. There are

also organic options. The yield in any one season can vary
according to a n[...]n says they received a huge
amount of interest in the programme last year, with 140
people renting trees.

He attributes the popularity of the scheme to the
simple pleasure of picking fruit from one’s own[...]tree or vegetable garden. New
Zealanders have, in the past, enjoyed the fruits of their
garden labour with home—grown v[...]fe and
hectic lifestyles leave many short of both the necessary
space and time.

“Picking apple and o[...]rience our children are missing out on because of the
trend towards small sections,” said Mr Cameron.[...]5759, Fax 04 472 5052, Email: vsa@vsa.org.nz

The experience of your life!

The Women Festival Pub Crawl kicked off at Uno
bar on Saturday night. Turn out for the event was a mite
low but we were philosophical; the less people to share
our free alcohol with, the better. We were plied with a
large quantity of free carafe wine. The atmosphere was
mellow while the large fish tank offered free entertainment
and a[...]uence, Pitch Black and Concorde Dawn.

On then to The Loaded Hog where there were
tequila shots all rou[...]here, too, mixed typical
Palmy pub pop and due to the earliness of the night, the
dance floor had plenty of room for us to show our
individual styles.

Our tab finished, we skipped on into The Celtic,
which had a live covers band we enthusiastically bounced
and tripped to. Our ‘Lord of the Dance’ antics may have
had something to do with the strange looks directed at us
from the regulars. Warning: Flaming Chartreuse may be
all well and good, but some members of the group
managed to set both the bar and themselves on fire.

Across the way to All Bar Three that offered a
hip—hop feel to the evening as well as extremely good

Poignant ‘Un[...]Ms Fitzsimons’s comments were made in light of the
Royal Commission into Genetic Engineering’s
recommendation of the release of genetically engineered
organisms into the environment.

Conservation Week focused on the country’s unique
natural and cultural heritage, as well as the plant and
animal species found only in New Zealan[...]d GE—free environment,” said Ms Fitzsimons at
the time.

Conservation Minister Sandra Lee says the
Department of Conservation supported activities
throughout the country that focused on the natural and
cultural features that have stemmed f[...]ed plant and animal species found nowhere else in
the world,” Ms Lee commented.

The activities, which extended into this week,
includ[...]tional p—acific college

Tertiary Education for the Internationally Minded

service. A small bar, it[...]ts at $3 a pop.

We then merrily traipsed through the Square to
Harvesters, which makes the yummiest tequila shaker
anywhere in Palmy! It was[...]that night and possibly I danced. Completely off the topic,
but the toilet door was fucked making the whole lavatory
experience fraught with anxiety at the thought of being
caught taking a leak.

Diablos kindly gave us the option of $2.50 drinks
but by then the night had got a bit fuzzy. What was left of
our r[...]group, myself and my flatmate, on our
way around the corner to Diablos, detoured to Club Q where
after[...]hartreuse (fumes
included) we called it quits for the night and ambled home.

At least, that’s what the flatmate said. Free alcohol,
loud music, and a group of enthusiastic women let loose on
the town. The Pub Crawl closed Women’s Fest, a week of
activity and celebration. Thanks to all the pubs for their
generosity and a good night out.

1 .
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Worrying West Coat Gold Mine

The Royal Forest and Bird Protection Society wants a[...]there is
insufficient researched information on the pollution it would
create. The mine proposed on conservation land would
potentially create New Zealand’s biggest ‘toxic waste dump’.
The society obtained an independent report prepared for the
Conservation Department in February; upon analysis, a
spokesperson said the report contained gaps in information
and uncertainties about the extent of water pollution,
particularly from tailings dumps and waste stacks. Another
report spells out the recreation and tourism effects form the
proposed mine, saying that for 15 years or so ‘[...]ous industrial
site”.

Record Maori Enrolments

The four—month Maori Electoral Option closed on August 1
with a significant increase in the total number of new Maori
enrolments. 18,574 new[...]were received;
this is 40.9 percent more than in the last Option in 1997.
The final enrolment figures have been provided to the
Government Statistician who will calculate the number of
Maori and General electoral seats for the next Parliament.
At this time, it looks likely th[...]tudents have been visiting Massey
University over the past two weeks as part of an orientation
programm[...]owcase Massey University to
prospective students. The students, who begin the day with
a formal welcome and address in Marsden[...]to their chosen areas of study. With a decline
in the number of Equivalent Full Time Students (EFTS) over
the past few years, the process is a valuable way of
presenting Massey University as a viable option for the
students’ future tertiary study.

lip-anus...[...]d
flu rs!

Learn /'/7 an /'/71‘er/7a//b/7a/ en V/ronmen/ WIT/7 the added advantages of?

- Small classes
- Scholarsh[...]Festival

Thousands of dollars were stolen after the highly
successful Kapa Haka Maori performance festival held in
the first week of August. Held at Palmerston North’s
Pascal Street Stadium, the festival was the much—awaited
culmination of two years planning since the last festival.
The theft of all gate ticket takings occurred about 4pm at
the office of Arena Manawatu. Expenses have yet to be
covered by organisers, including the hireage of venue and
stage. Deputy chair of the Rangitane Regional Maori
Festival Komiti, Lorene Fitzgerald, said the committee was
considering running a kapa haka day to raise money for
the outstanding expenses.

High Court Ruling Slams Winz

The High Court has ruled against the Department of Work
and Income New Zealand to the satisfaction of local
advocacy groups. In an early August court case, claims
by Winz that it was the responsibility of benefit applicants
to specify their entitlements were rejected by the High
Court. The department’s position, if accepted, would have[...]town crier Caroline Robinson won first
prize for the best newcomer, and finished 13‘h overall at
the Town Criers Ninth World Championships in
Anacorte[...]st—ever
competition last year, Mrs Robinson won the New Zealand
championships.

Numb Bums For Keen Co[...]ks after contestants showed signs of hypothermia.
The six young men, in pursuit of season ski passes, s[...]ts and with
a cold fan blowing for maximum chill. The Coolest Seats
in the House contest, organised by Classic Hits radio host
Kent Robertson, was eventually decided by the St John
Ambulance crew who detected mild hypothermia in the
final contestants and suggested the battle be stopped.

Farming The Most Dangerous Job in NZ

According to Occupational Safety and Health figures,
farming is the most unsafe job, with twice as many
deaths than a[...]0 people
were killed in their workplace — 17 of the victims were
farmers. Most are killed in accident[...]nd tractors. OSH Waikato manager Kevin
Webby said the message was not getting through to some
farmers,[...]“she’ll be right” attitude.

OUCH!!

One of the strangest stories to emerge from Amazonian
adventure is of a fish of a urinophilic nature. It swims
up the urethra or into the vagina of the unlucky soul who
urinates whilst bathing in the Amazon. The fish, known
as candir in Brazil, and as carnero[...]s long, thin, and capable of forcing its way into
the body’s passageways following the trail of urine. Once
inside it eats away the mucous membranes and tissues
until hemorrhage kills either fish or host. Even if the fish
is caught by the tail , once in the urethra it cannot be
pulled out because of a visc[...]ella. As a consequence, penectomy is
preferred to the misery and pain associated with leaving
the fish in the urethral

Turangi Ski Hire
2001 Student

The Hill Season is almost

PH: 355 $301

tomme[...]

For some of us, even the microwave is too
slow. Modern innovation means faster, smaller,
whether applied to the latest gadget or an individual’s
seriously sche[...]heir
lifelong search for tranquillity and peace.

The creation of a Tibetan sand mandala
amazes those who take the time to stand and watch.
Onlookers fidget and talk amongst themselves as,
silently, smilingly, the monks pour out their
beautifully vibrant sand man[...]n
after grain.

A unique art event has started at the Science
Centre with the much—anticipated and celebrated
arrival of the national Chenrezig Sand Mandala Tour.

A group of[...]nnoisseurs
of their chosen mandala design, poured the first
coloured grains of sand before an audience of about
500.

Over the following two weeks visitors are invited to
watch as the monks gradually create the mandala entirely
from grains of coloured sand in[...]culture.

Perseverance also plays a big part — the visiting
monks have been given two years of intensive training
during which they construct the mandala again and again
until they know the whole design by heart. As the crowd
shifts its weight form foot to foot, the monks remain cross—
legged, with minimal moveme[...]from years of practice. Day to
day activities in the monastery involve long periods of
sitting while s[...]maintain
their physical posture for a long time.

The type of mandala created by the visiting monks
can be described as a two dimensio[...]ce and everything that is
contained within it’. The exact proportions of the incredibly
complex design are laid down in ancient Buddhist texts.
Gautama Buddha originally taught the meaning, purpose
and techniques of the art of making the sand mandala in
India in the sixth century BC. This tradition has been
preserv[...]rs and has been passed from master
to disciple to the present day. Until recently, these arts have
not been shown outside their sacred setting.

Using a ridged metal funnel and piece of animal
horn, the monks start their lengthy dedication by laying out
a geometric design similar to an architect’s blueprint. The
mandala is generated from the centre point outwards, and is
intricately overlaid with delicate streams of very fine
coloured sands. The resulting mandala has been described
as a true marriage of ornament and symbol.

The venerable Geshe Sangay Thiley, resident teacher
at the newly established Tibetan Buddhist Centre in
Whangarei, comments — “The purpose of the construction of
a mandala is to receive special b[...]gh wisdom one gains happiness.”

All aspects of the mandala have special significance.
The necessary tools are intended to remind the monks that
nothing has an independent existence a[...]owd of wide—eyed
strangers, it is essential for the monks to try and remain
mindful and attentive throughout the whole process of
construction.

As they work, the[...]of love,
compassion and altruism. As they create the different parts
of the mandala, they contemplate their symbolism.

The colours blue, white, yellow, red, green, black, b[...]ight blue, light red and light green are used. In the
Buddhist practice of Tantra, white, yellow, red a[...]xclusively in order to help other
living beings.

The Palmerston North Mandala is part of the national
Chenrezig Sand Mandala Tour organised by the Jam Tse
Dhargyey Trust. It will be completed by Sunday 19 August
and will remain on display at the Science Centre and
Manawatu Museum until Sunday 9 September. The
Mandala will then be ‘dissolved’ during a ceremony involving
both Tibetan monks and local Iwi.

The dissolving of the mandala often shocks observers
of the ceremony, especially westerners who find the
destruction a direct contradiction to the ideal of having a
material result at the end of a process. However, the
destruction of the intricate artwork is an understood
component of the mandala process.

A core teaching of Buddhism is[...]e through
causes and conditions, are impermanent. The dissolution of
the fragile mandala, the result of many hours of painstaking
work, is meant to awaken in the mind the understanding of
impermanence and non—attachment.

The monks run their vajras through the mandala
and ‘ruin’ it. The sand is finally taken to a nearby river and
during a ceremony is gifted into the water symbolically
spreading peace and compassion throughout the local area
and beyond.

ill! ‘

Sticks & Skins —
The Rhythm of Life

The electrically charged grey days of a Palmerston
wi[...]s ways. When your
heart pounds with every turn in the weather, and
something’s got to give, it’s up[...]t to do.
Drumming provides an opportunity to give the thunder a
taste of its own, an ancient taste we s[...]o local drummer Brett Green, his
establishment of the community drumming party “Sticks &
Skins” was[...]arose out of this
ancient drumming demand —

“The drums have woken up this year. They’re calling.
Drums are the community instrument of every culture that
has been taken away from us. Now’s the time to bring them
back.”

Sunday fun—lovers have been summoned from all
corners / curves for the last three Sticks & Skins sessions.
Latecomers are literally called to the cause with an enticing
alfresco effort by Brett, who drums and paces outside The
Stomach, releasing rhythm to the atmosphere (and the ears
of the atmosphere’s inhabitants).

As lightning is the transformation of energy into light,
drumming is the transformation of energy into sound and
movement.[...]consciousness” (ASC) has led to theories about the
neurophysical effect of music, especially of drum[...]ggest that drumming harmonises
neural activity in the brain with the vibrational frequency
of the sound. Drumming is central to today’s neo—
sh[...]ation in a drumming circle is an
honest pleasure. The beauty of a hand drum, especially
one with a carr[...]to
rub tender palms, make a cup of tea and eye up the wide
variety of sticks and skins. Naturally, the rhythm will
evolve, falter, get messy — it’s[...]ers (no dramas here)
make for a good time. Inside The Stomach (not as scary as
it sounds!) the sticks spare nothing — all surfaces, floor, fe[...]pped, rhythm bounces back to be picked up again.

The next drumming party — Meet the Beat — is a
rhythm festival in the Square on August 18 at 1pm by the
Te Awe Awe statue. Bring a drum if you have one, but
come along anyway if you don’t — the statue steps and park
benches have definite drumming potential. As with the
Sticks 8:. Skins sessions, participation from loc[...]groove sure to turn heads of Saturday
shoppers.

The raising of public awareness is the nature of the
event. Brett stresses that “there’s no egos i[...]—
rather, this is an opportunity to demonstrate the simple
bliss of a shared rhythmic creation.

Let us paint a picture here. Let us assume that the road you are on has a sealed shoulder of
500mm. l[...]l take
about .98 of a second for you to drive off the shoulder and off the road. lfyou are travelling at
120 km/hr you will[...]drive fast to
get to our destination faster. And the less time we’re on the road, we reason, the less likely we

are to crash.

Wrong. Do you know[...]ime of being in a

wheelchair. Ten minutes versus the eternity of being dead.

50, we urge you, don’t speed. Slow down.

\t'fi'nksafe

180 ON THE DESERT ROAD.

CLEM ACC9152R

So it is a good idea to vote in the elections, because the people you
choose will be representing you and yo[...]ou weren’t here then MUSA wouldn’t
exist.

2. The MUSA levy that you pay is how MUSA survives — c[...]You have an obligation to ensure that you receive the best possible education
—effective representation is the key to ensuring this.

4. If you don’t vote the[...]to make a difference — not
just at MUSA but in the tertiary sector

5. Because your vote counts

Eve[...]is just a
gentle reminder of how easy voting is!! The voting booth will be open every day
on Concourse, and open at the Hokowhitu campus for one of the days, all you
have to do is find the tent, tell the nice person your last name, then they’ll give
you a ballot form, you tick the boxes of the people you want to win, give the form
back, and you’ve finished. Voting mission[...]002 will be, by someone who won’t need to
learn the ropes, someone who understands the organisation, and can get down
to continuing the hard work.

Read my election blurb for more.
The most important thing that is that you vote. Pleas[...]e was a conference in Auckland called
‘Catching the Knowledge Wave’. It was all about that latest
buzz phrase, the ‘knowledge economy’. As expected, it
turned o[...]g talkfest with mostly business
heads frothing at the mouth about recycling their failed
economic policies from the 80’s and 90’s. Apparently the
miracle cure needed to attain the ‘knowledge economy’ is ‘growth’ — economic growth.
That’s it, no fresh ideas, nothing new, just the same tired old hacks going on about what
they’ve gone on about for the last 20 years. That’s what came out of this ver[...]k governor, Dr Don Brash, tell us we should scrap the
unemployment benefit and the minimum wage to allow labour markets to ‘clear’. Jenny
Shipley responded by hinting in The Herald that National might take up thethe US is increase an already poverty—stricken unde[...]. Oh sure, we’d be competitive, but it
would be the workers in this country competing with the workers in the third world for the
lowest wagesll No to mention that NZ’s standard[...]as
thousands would be, quite literally, living in the gutter.

Conferences like this never address the systemic problems within capitalism itself.
Becau[...]they have to
keep blaming and exploiting those at the bottom of the heap. Those very people who are
there because of[...]emember SCARFIE meets this week on Tuesday 2pm in the function room, 2nd
floor, MUSA Building. Also make sure you sign the petition opposing a fee increase for
next year.[...]greetings everybody,

There’s been a lot in the media lately about the
backdating of benefits and other entitlements. All the
attention pertain to a High Court case were Justi[...]ter flogging Crown Laws
lawyers, confirmed that the Department of Work and Income (DWI) had a clear o[...]ticular, they must
invite an application. Part of the reason the media has latched on to this decision is
because[...]ople are eligible for and to help them to apply!

The decision will benefit a small number of students[...]ccommodation Supplement and aren’t. That is, if the reason they are not getting the
Student Allowance is NOT because of their or thei[...]rson who is over 18 and paying $60 per week rent,
the Supplement will be $15pw ($780pa), if they were p[...]ld be $25pw
($1,300pa) etc. In this situation, if the student was declined Student Allowance, DWI
knew[...]ent to have an application assessed — specify a start date
from when you think you were eligible to rec[...]call it
‘backdating’).

Another hot issue at the moment is what to do if you didn’t pass more th[...]) in semester one and you’re now being declined the Student
Allowance. F irst—up, apply for the Loan Living Costs ASAP as you need something to live
on. Then you might like to consider applying to have the Allowance reinstated. How?
Well, the Department of Work and Income (DWI) can grant/ reinstate your entitlement on
the grounds that circumstances beyond the student’s control contribute them failing too
m[...]ng to be
based on how well you present your case. The more evidence you have, and the perceived
legitimacy of that evidence, the more likely that the decision will be in your favour.
Supporting documentation is obviously going to be very important. Thethe
information you need, apply to DWI.

If you’d m[...]s n’ pieces with
me, I can be found upstairs in the MUSA building (MUSA Office), or you can p[...]

DAMU has recently written a letter to Hon. Steve Maharey, the Associate Minister
of Education (Tertiary Educati[...]rch has been done on Loans and SWDs.

WHEAT

from the Massey chaplains

Two weeks ago the Royal Commission of Inquiry on Genetic Modificati[...]cally modified organisms (GMOs) be released
into the environment under certain conditions. It is now up to the government to decide
whether or not to accept the recommendation and it is important that we remind them of
our views at this time. Since the Commission presented its report to the government the
media has again highlighted the debate over genetic modification. On the one hand are
claims that if NZ says no to genetic modification the country will be left behind in terms of
science, medical research, agricultural research and trade. On the other hand are those
who warn that should GMOs be[...]ur environment there would be no going
back, that the technology is unpredictable and dangerous and tha[...]entists, farmers and ordinary
people.

So what do the the Christian churches have to say about genetic modi[...]ith, Christians’ belief that life is sacred — the creation story in Genesis tells
us that God created the world and all living things. As human beings we a[...]ple of quotations that will shed further light on the Christian
perspective on life and the environment.

“If ever there was an aspect of l[...]nd that we are
supposed to love each other. Given the unknown nature of how all these changes might
aff[...]chooks and real spuds,
and given what looks like thethe Anglican 3119/2019 of Wellington {published in So[...]magazine July 1999/.

“Creation itself provides the primary source from which all life flows. Within
creation all life forms are interconnected. Our actions, the things we use, the way we use
them, and the wastes we produce need to respect the integrity of creation. The Bible tells
us in its account of the creation of the world that “God saw that it was good”. It is also in
keeping with the traditions of the Maori of Aotearoa that we need to respect the
sacredness of creation, as partners in life with the earth, the oceans, the lakes, the animal
world, the mountains, the fish of the sea and the birds in our forests and gardens. From
such sources, balanced by the infinate hand of God, we draw all life and nouri[...]o us as individuals and communities to influence the decision of our
government on the future of genetic modification in new Zealand. It[...]5pm (Chaplaincy Centre, Colombo
Rd) Rex Begley of the Catholic Diocesan Centre will be speaking on the church’s teaching
on genetic modificatio[...]

In addition to the comic strip, Flash has also starred in a live—a[...]d he even appears on his own
U.S. postage stamp.

The first Flash Sunday page appeared in 1934, and the comic quickly gained a
devoted following.

Thethe Universe (1940). All three serials
starred Olympi[...]and veteran film heavy Charles
Middleton as Ming the Merciless.

In 1980 Flash Gordon returned to the big screen with Sam J James playing
Flash Gordon, Brian Blessed as Prince Vultan, Timothy Dalton (the very poor man’s
James Bond) as Prince Barin and Max Von Sydow as Ming the Merciless.

Flash Gordon was an All—American athlete who was kidnapped from Earth and
thrust into the middle of a raging war on the distant Planet Mongo. Caught between the
forces of Prince Barin, the rightful ruler of Mongo, and Ming the Merciless, the self—
proclaimed emperor of the universe, this ordinary man became a hero by displaying
extraordinary courage. Under Flash’s leadership, the oppressed people of Mongo were
finally able to r[...]r.

His girlfriend Dale Arden, was wanted by Ming the Merciless, and not to make
his cups of tea or anything.

Ming the Merciless was your standard tyrannical evil alien dictator with a silly
name. The most hated man in the universe (this was before either George Bush was in
power) Ming viciously enslaved the inhabitants of Mongo until he was overthrown by
F[...]is powerful alliance.

Dr. Hans Zarkov was one of the most brilliant scientists the world has ever
known. Driven mad with the knowledge of Earth’s imminent demise, it was Dr[...]Dale to accompany him on his spaceship to change the course of
the approaching Mongo. Dr. Zarkov’s scientific prowess has made him an invaluable ally
in the fight against Ming.

The moral of the story, All—American Flash Gordon saves the world and gets the
girl, all to the tune of a Queen soundtrack.

The dam

The dams beautiful this evening

with water streaked tortoiseshell coppery
as gums stretch leafless across the surface.
So quiet.

A terrapin up periscopes.
The ploomp made when he recedes echoes.

I sit in my usual spot

a warm, yellow—gold scoop
formed by the hooves

of cattle descending to drink.
I reach into the rabbit hole
draw out a squarish bottle.
Hardly mo[...]or comfort.

Comfort is completely under—rated, the the solace
of a touch, the balm of a kindly intended word.

When finished[...]f doughnut haze.

My mind is comatose
stilled

as the whole world seems preternaturally still this even[...]nce
Gathering
Communicating
Dancing

Bare feet to the earth
No electricity

Moon — more mysterious th[...]ID ’UIDLEI‘ICE-

I-nr mnrn mfnrmatmn
EiIJEHJI the»:;:ilrr1|::-:aigri
contact
Laura at MLJSA[...]

Gubernaculum play the Massey University Social Hall, Friday August 17th. $2
entry, all proceeds to the Massey Inline Hockey Club.

MUSA Elections:

Camp[...]this week,

VOTING BEGINS NEXT WEEK — to elect the student executive for 2002, Make sure you
make yo[...]ning
for further details.

GIGS AROUND TOWN

Meet the Beat - Rhythm Festival, from 1pm, Saturday August 18th in the
Square — bring your own drum or just come down and enjoy the beats.

The Brunettes will be playing the Stage Door Cafe on Friday 17th August.
The WBC @ Harvesters Friday August 17th.

The Rod Johnson Experience, The Nana Squad, The WBC and Mailbox Skipole @ 85
Broadway Ave, Friday[...]resents Bass Frontiers — Saturday August 18th @ The Globe Theatre.
Featuring Sean, B—Low, Kava, Nik[...]s.

BIG GIGS

Footsouljahs, DJ Raw and DJ Rhys B.
The Mt. Smart Supertop in Auckland, Friday August the 24th with suppport
from Scibe and Ali.

Methodman 81. Redman have postponed the dates of the ‘Blaze It Up 2001 Tour”. The
new dates are:
Queens Wharf Events Centre in Wellington, Thursday August 23rd. Support from

@ THE SCIENCE CENTRE AND MANAWATU
MUSEUM

BG Wildlife Photography (Unitl 22 August)
The best wildlife photography in the world! Photos organised by the BBC Wildlife
Magazine and The Natural History Museum, London.

Hey Good Looking (Until 6 December]
An investigation of the eye, both human and animal. Discover how it works[...]d Ilnd out I'Iflh‘ "

yeu een be enshan in en the 3'-
UEI exchange rate by "member .' - v -' . ‘

EDI: - 1'11!me
SBLB-Il
I'h'leeey Unlyerefl'y

WI' . -r'( I
I ilk-I."- I

Wart In the emlestflflfienfltmfl

'-:In||»:.r.'||n.| II[...]i'ir'lll II:'I'|.IL-':| I'I I'lul'lilil'er"r

THE CANCER SflCIETT EATS...

SMGHEFREE 1WEHIIHJES

S[...]ember)

A fun exhibition that looks at works from the collection that incorporate the use of
electric, neon and argon light as well as the notion of refraction and reflection. Artists
inc[...]touring photographic exhibition which complements the Tibetan Sand Mandala
installation at The Science Centre & Manawatu Museum. Photographs in the exhibition
are by the sculptor Hamish Horsley taken during his visits to India, Tibet and Mongolia.
These images vividly portray the unique lifestyles of these people.

Alan McIntyre Retrospective (Until 9 September)
An intimate look at the work of local artist Alan McIntyre, (1927—1999).

Some of the Field Evidence (Until 9 September)

An exhibition of paintings by Bob Kerr based on the photographs and diaries of local
man, Leslie Adkin.

@ THE MANAWATU ART GALLERY

Desert Flowering: Aborigina[...]rom private collections, this exhibition features the work of six key
contemporary Aboriginal artists.[...]ing through to knucklebones.

THEATRE

Sisters is the current production at Centrepoint theatre. Running until
August 18th.

42“(1 Street at the Regent on Broadway August 16—25

MISCELLANEOUS

The International Film Festival comes to Downt[...]

Who the f"*k is Alice? Well, I was born in 1979 in Te Kui[...]nded

My name is Angelia Tan and I am running for the position
of Vice President Administration. I am y[...]for a year now, I now not only want to
represent the interests of the international students but
ALL students in Massey University. If elected, I would be
responsible for keeping the association up—to—date with the

up at Massey doing my Masters in Chemical Techno[...]ode of Babylon 5.

So why vote for me? Or more to the point for most of you
disinterested people out there, why vote? I’m picking that the
majority of you don’t really have an idea of wh[...]w it spends financial status as well as ensuring the effieient workings of

its money or makes its decisions. A 1°t 0f the reason that I’m running for the Executive as a whole. So, who could be better sui[...], (you can tell I’m new to politics), I’m not
the banner—waving, tying myself to a tree, protesti[...]tended), and that means that I can
concentrate on the things I am enthusiastic about, like making MUSA more
transparent, improving the MUSA shop etc. MUSA exists on the will of the
students, for the students, and I want to ensure that is providing[...]ing to fight for student welfare. That goes with the job. But I
believe that MUSA will function more effectively as a lobbying group if it is
doing thethe
association’s expenditure as well as putting fo[...]eniable that Students’ Associations are some of the poorest
organisations in the country, yet are the most representative of a wide range of
needs and[...]le
to you.

I am able to contribute positively to the Association as an individual as well as a
team. I[...]ssociation, make your money work for you. Vote in the
elections. Vote for Angelia Tan for VP Admin.

CA[...]a productive year for MUSA and I know that
I have the skills and leadership ability to do an even bette[...]will be an important year in tertiary education, the General
Election will dictate the future for whatever we are each individually stud[...]tal that issues relating to your education are in the limelight and are
being taken seriously. I have the knowledge of how things work, at both
Massey and nationally as well. I believe that MUSA needs the continuity,
having me in this role for another year will provide the organisation with
stability.

I will be focusing[...]re that MUSA is made even
more democratic. One of the things I would like to introduce is monthly
stude[...]any and all students will be invited to meet with
the MUSA student executive and raise issues that need to be addressed. The
Class Representatives structure is just one way i[...]nternal and extramural
student for several years. The role of VP Education demands
vigilance in attending to the needs of students.

Specifically, I see this role as a watchdog on the
systemic failures and headaches that may arise within the
university’s academic structures. While demanding the
heads of those in charge may be persuasive, a pol[...]structive engagement’ may be more successful in the long run when those
heads resist being dislodged.[...]e
course programmes or poor teaching do not allow the individual goals of many
students to be met. The university structures therefore require either tw[...]waste. If elected, I will do my utmost to address the causes of ‘road blocks’
in the system and will endeavour to work closely with ot[...]Anthropology
and I’m running for VP Welfare in the up coming
elections.

The position of VP Welfare requires someone with
orga[...]ig grants for cash strapped students,

I know how the financial sides of things work in a business to[...]ue. I plan to action and regulate a

able to take the position of Vice President (Administration). What[...]I can do many things, but I need to hear from out the year for students .W‘h‘o miss the criteria.

you, as members of MUS A, to tell me what you would like seen done Representation and v1s1bility are essential components for a harassmen[...]run a ‘fun no threat’ campaign through 01“ the y ear. at
friendly so if you see be round come an[...]and better awareness of our safety.
I know I have the ability, the knowledge and some experience to not only do Star[...]raditional support systems and
this job but to do the job well on you behalf for your organization. slo[...]accommodation to sink or swim. I want to research the
Let me prove all this to you feasibility of ‘Wh[...]ative demand
PPS Don’t forget to vote for me at the MUSA elections support and vote Andrea Gra[...]

It’s Mother Teresa here!!! Apart from the same name — I’m
TERESA KOLOI; I am passionate about the power of an
outreaching hand (an a smaller scale[...]th
back and forth. This is what I’ve been doing the last 2
years. I have, and am currently representing the Pacific
students. I have attended International[...]eliness and just adjusting to New Zealand.

I see thethe last 2 years. I offer
a chance of continuity having witnessed the progress of the housing standards
issue and helped some students with hardship applications. I know what the
next step is with current issues, familiar with behind the scenes of Orientation
and how the MUSA system works. I realise the need for Mature students
space and have just achi[...]or International and Pacific
students — I know the channels! Having represented a minority group I am
totally for equality in services provided among the campuses (Ruawharo,
Hokowhitu and here). I’ve a[...]w students and will
continue doing so. I’ve had the opportunity of co—organising Unity in Diversity
(MUSA cultural event) and am not daunted at the thought of organising events
that go with this po[...]ps ensuring
smooth sailing.

Let Mother Teresa be the one there for you!!

CANDIDATES FOR
ENVIRONMENTAL[...]I am running for
environmental issues officer in the up coming elections.
Just a few notes about myself; I have been at Massey for
the past three years studying Ecology, Zoology and
environmental science. So I know a fair bit about how
the environment works at Massey, and as a MUSA
volunt[...]bit of insight into what you, as a
student want.

The reason that I am running for environmental issues
officer is that the environment that we spend our day in
is shared by[...]ge.

As your environmental representative some of the things that I will be doing for
our environment i[...]and groups
around Massey that have concerns about the way our campus functions. I will
promote these co[...]unbiased and educated manner.

If elected some of the issues I feel that need to be re—addressed at Massey are
firstly, the free bus service. Massey University just recently[...]Secondly various
flaws have been highlighted in the current recycling system and there is
marked room[...]ly habits can be modified to have less impact on the
environment. All it takes is a small amount of co[...]y to activate M conscious
awareness is to vote in the 20—24 August, MUSA
elections.

I’m Blair and[...]tal
planning. In our economically dominated world the environment often takes a
backseat and my goal is[...]alks at Totara Reserve. These experiences
gave me the inspiration to study ecology in the pursuit of better understanding
the current environmental situation, and to instigate[...]nvironmental Group (MEG) and will
be coordinating the group next year, regardless of who becomes Enviro[...]ing together so that we can give twice as much to the
environment because Mother Nature is feeling pretty neglected at the moment.
Your vote for us as Environmental Issues Officer will support the following
initiatives:

Cycle Advocacy ‘ workin[...]cycle infrastructure.

Campus Waste Disposal ‘ the extension of recycling facilities beyond
concourse and monitoring the recycling process. Also advocating a zero waste,
policy within the university.

These are two issues related to many[...]OFFICER

Shasi Kumar Maniam

Hello and Welcome to the new semester. I’m Shasi
and I’m standing for the position of International
Student Officer in the 2001 MUSA Elections.

I came to Massey as an inte[...]ore activities other than Unity and Diversity and
the Food Fest to foster better relationships between[...]memories and new friendships.
Activities are not the only improvements that I plan to implement if I’m elected.
I intend to work closely with the International Student Office and the
respective clubs to ensure your problems are addr[...]ll be
collecting your complaints and liasing with the necessary parties so that the

best possible outcome may be achieved.
Finally,[...]aloa and Carol Murdoch and we are campaigning for
the joint position of Pacific Island Students Offic[...]ems that Pacific Island Students may have during the year.
Issues that we can help resolve include ass[...]ty life. Another objective we hope to achieve for
thethe best for the rest of the year
and God bless!!!

CANDIDATE FOR WOMEN STUDEN[...]erful experiences
that have pushed me into making the final decision about
running for this position.[...]Women’s
Group this year has further allowed me the opportunity to
understand the scope of the issues that surround women
today. As women’s officer I hope to deal with some of the
problems that women at this University and the whole of New Zealand face on
a day—to—day bas[...]t this
awareness can be increased by working with the welfare officer in promoting
issues surrounding[...]ety on and off campus and I will also
continue in the promoting of Thursdays in Black

I believe sternly that though the representation of women and the promotion of
this huge part of society, (in the fight for equality, the ability to be free and
expressive and above all safe) we will in turn increase awareness in other areas
of the community, including issues surrounding men (like the exclusion of
men in parenting and the media that support these misconceptions). So why[...]redibly enthusiastic, passionate and exited
about the opportunity of contributing to the community. I believe that I will do
the best job in representing women as a whole about current issues and those
that may arise in the future.

CANDIDATES NOT CURRENTLY
STANDING[...]

Lucas’ first treatment of the script was set in the 23rd century. The Jedi—
Templar Warriors swore allegiance to the Alliance of Independent Systems. Jungle and
desert planets, and a city suspended in the clouds were to be the settings. Characters,
creatures and places were o[...]three parts. Two of which he put away for later,
the other he continued to work on. This eventually ev[...]we are familiar
with today... Star Wars.

To date the Star Wars saga consists of four movies, the Original Trilogy and
the first episode of the Prequel Trilogy. The Original Trilogy was ‘completed’ 18 years
ago[...]tar Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars Episode W: Return of the Jedi

The original trilogy is one of the most beloved series in movie history. It follows
the story of Luke Skywalker, a farmboy pilot (In fact the best pilot in the Outer Rim
Territories) and his progression to Jed[...]of strange and wonderful characters, ranging from the
noble Obi—Wan Kenobi to the comic pairing of R2—D2 and C—3PO.

Star Wars[...]vies, westerns
and Flash Gordon movie serials — the list goes on. This combination of fantasy,
mythol[...]A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... even the first line fires the
imagination. The title crawl and space battle that follow contain some of the most
memorable images ever seen on film. This sets the viewer up for a thrilling adventure
over desert p[...]into detention block AA—23 and eventually
down the Death Star trench to the thermal exhaust port. Using the Force, Luke
Skywalker fires the two proton torpedoes that destroy the dreaded battle station. Now
known as A New Hope the original theatrical release was simply entitled Star Wars.
Lucas later added the Episode IV and A New Hope in later video releases when he
decided to create the sequels.

Episode V

“Anger... Fear... Aggression... The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they
flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start own the dark path, forever will it
dominate your destiny.[...]da’s warning to Luke signifies a mood shift in the
series. The Empire Strikes Back is by far the darkest of the Original Trilogy, and
considered by many diehard fans to be the best. The opening battle scene is incredible,
this exciteme[...]gh to a chase through an asteroid field and into the belly
of a giant space worm. We are also introduced to the 800 year old Jedi Master, Yoda,
and Boba Fett, a fan favourite. The film culminates in a duel where Darth Vader makes
the shocking revelation: ‘No, I am your father’.[...]eavily criticized by more cynical fans, Return of the
Jedi is the final chapter in the six part series (Unless Lucas changes his mind ag[...]things get personal. I staunchly
defend Return of the Jedi. It might have something to do with it being the first Star
Wars movie I ever saw. I went to see it on the big screen when I was five. It didn’t make
a hell of a lot of sense. But I was scared to death of the Rancor, I wanted an a pet Ewok
and I was mesmerized by the space battle at the end. Although the Ewok Yub Yub song
at the end of the original did suck. Thank god they replaced[...]

In 1996 the time had come: Lucasfilm announced that the following year, work
would begin on a Prequel Trilogy, covering events which occurred before the original
trilogy. They also announced that the original trilogy would be reissued to theatres. T[...]cial effects and reintroduce some deleted scenes. The
Special Editions, as they came to be known, were[...]e
starting to get excited about Star Wars again.

The Prequel Trilogy consists of, or rather, will consist of:

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode [1: Attack of the Clones
Star Wars Episode [11: {Untitled/

While the original trilogy was primarily about Luke Skywalker, The Phantom
Menace is set ‘a longer time ago’ so he isn’t even born yet. Rather, the Prequel Trilogy
follows the story his father, Anakin Skywalker, a slave boy a[...]night (sense any familiarity?). But this is where the story takes a tragic turn, since
Anakin Skywalker ultimately becomes Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith and supreme
bad ass. Exactly how this is going to happen is unknown, though speculation on the
internet is running high. The only sure thing is: the Prequel Trilogy will end in disaster.
However, many argue that’s exactly how it started. The disaster being Jar—Jar Binks,
possibly the most annoying character ever created. Jar Jar sum[...]about Episode One. This ‘dislike’ has reached the utmost conclusion.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Edit

Produced by a person calling himself the Phantom Editor. The Phantom Edit is a
re—edit of The Phantom Menace which severely cuts the scenes involving Jar Jar and some
other annoying characters. The underground edit has been widely distributed in the US,
and has been warmly received by an extreme wing of the SW fan base. Lucasfilm has
threatened the Phantom Editor with legal action.

Think of the children

At the end of the day The Phantom Menace is a kids movie. Talk to any child
who saw[...]o tell you about their best friend Jar Jar Binks, the
cool kid who blew up the big spaceship and the nasty demon who got chopped in half.
Lucas knows[...]g. It grossed almost $1 billion worldwide. But in the
market driven business of movie making we all kno[...]a
sign of artistic merit.

Episode 11: Attack of the Clones

2002 sees the release of the Star Wars Episode [IxAttack of the Clones. Already
the title of the film has proved controversial, with 3 out of 10 fans hating it. But its just a
title. The film itself is set to be darker and grittier. Possibly the Empire Strikes Back of
the Prequel Trilogy. Episode 111, due out in 2005, should follow this same direction so its
hard to see how the prequel trilogy could possibly end with a positive spin. This makes it
understandable why The Phantom Menace was such a light hearted affair.

The Story (minor spoilers)

It takes place around 10[...]hmi, Watto, Owen Lars, and
Beru Lars.

* We learn the origin of Boba Fett and Stormtroopers.

* Episode II reveals information about the Clone Wars mentioned in A New Hope

* Padme and A[...]separate
adventure. They all cross paths again in the end.

* Expect return appearances by Yoda, Mace W[...]day, with a popular movie comes merchandising and the star wars saga has
been heavily merchandised. Lucas once said “we market everything in the movie. That’s
what keeps funding the other things we do — the computer research and all the other
things. Again, people tend to look at merch[...]ately, a lot
of fun things come out of it, and at the same time it pays for the overhead of the company
and everybody’s salary”. Star Wars ac[...]ying vehicles have
proved to be very popular over the years. In fact, over $3 billion has been made on
merchandising alone.

At the moment George Lucas is the richest, most powerful independent
filmmaker in the world. Sure, I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of the saga unfold,
but mostly I’m looking forward to seeing which direction Lucas will take after Star Wars.
May the Force be you, always.

Bevan Jackson

5. Are you voting next week in thethe above is actual/y a MUSA service)

Chaff

Easier[...]he

uses us that much.)

Making us more aware of the facilities they have

No
Depends who is standing[...]ccessible to all students. More involvement

from the average student.

N0

Probably not.

( What If th[...]with.)

I’ve lost my voice again. Please accept
the fact that I will be writing more than usual for
s[...]thoughts!

I could pick a fight with someone on the
letters page, but I actually agree with 2nd. Lt
142867. MB 1.06 has been the bane of my
existence throughout my Massey career[...]out a random page of Chaff.
My paper fell open at the Movie 8:. Video review
pages, which seemed daunti[...]ther in one place!)
Finding a time to watch it is the issue that could
pose a real problem. When I’m not mildly
nauseous, I take advantage of the situation
by drinking, which makes me mildly (?)[...]dynuffuvytt.

P.S: Thanks, love and mung beans to the person
who delivered my letter to the Chaff mailbox last
week. You’re a total babe, and the computer lab.
at the Hokowhitu campus is not!

Re: Te Reo Issue

Re: T[...]bit tuned out from my “was—
normal” dose of the world report but Why is it
that every new thing on the political agenda has
something to do with the progression/
advancement of some country or anoth[...]ilitary unrest?

Is anyone else out there getting the shivers?
Regards...

Citizen of the Global Masses

Hello Chaeénlmal Testing LIst

Re[...]f with a fine toothed comb yet, I just
jumped to the letters page to see your response.
But yeah.

OK that was the first thing on my letters agenda. I
have lots more, but like I said last week, it would
take longer than the half hour I have until my next
class. But the main thing is the incredible degree
of mental anguish I’m suffering at the moment.

It’s the sort of situation where your friends will see
you[...]’m fine” and smile and that’s ‘cause all the
superficial stuff in your life is fine but deep[...]your thoughts will be way more
organised amongst the pieces of brain and
shattered skull than they wou[...]n my eyes. I hate it for how
frustrated I get and the drain on my energy that
this frustration causes.[...]nd I ultimately don’t
deserve it.

And that’s the core of my mental anguish.
Thanx for reading, I just needed to vent my
anguish.

Kimm

With regards to "the list” -finding it will take more
than half an[...]undy Article

Chaff,

I am writing with regard to the article on the
Lundy case last week. Firstly, I would like to
note a misrepresentation. The article reads
“Christine’s brother James Weggery had found
thethe name being used in
media publications also (see any copy of The
Dominion that addresses him).

Secondly, I object to the sensationalist and
emotive ending the article had. The concluding
sentence read: “Watch this space as we follow
one of the most horrible murder trials in recent
years — i[...]re we supposed to be
privileged that our city was the “birthplace of
these amazing events”. As a fr[...]full of mistakes
and overtly sensationalist. Can the author of
this article (and those who enjoyed rea[...]lise that this is real life
and it actually hurts the friends and family of the
victims. They can not press stop and return it to
the video store, this tragedy is their eternity.

A. Millward

PS This is not intended as a personal attack on
the reporter, merely as a reminder that a little
sens[...]preciated.

While you are correct in stating that The
Dominion has accurately identified
Christine’s brother as Glenn Weggeiy, The
New Zealand Herald Online (dated 1 7/ 07/
01/ stated that ‘James Glenn Weggery/had
found the bodies, and this was the article
from which the name was obtained.
Unfon‘unately this is where the error
occurred and Chafl would like to retract the
name James. As far as the article being full
of mistakes: it was written after
researching a variety of sources including
The Dominion and this was the only
mistake I have been alerted to.

In response to the final line being
sensationalised, [can see how i[...]d
to inform people that Chafl was going to
cover the trial, although this will not be
done now[...]

Dear Chaff,

A quick word of thanks for the review of
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It is a great
movie, however, just a word of warning to the
unwary.

Having seen the original at a theatre and felt the
subtitles and Mandarin added to rather than
detracted from the movie. I was somewhat
disappointed by the video copy I raced out to rent
last weekend. It had been dubbed over in English
and somewhat spoilt the effect.

Denise

Foul Smells and

D00 n esbu ry
D[...]e to my attention (i.e. I smelled
it myself) that the short passageway joining the
MUSA corridor with the Shop corridor reeks
atrociously. It is a smell so[...]ing my breath. Pity poor
Jared who has to work in the adjacent office. In
fact, pity any poor bastard[...]rough that Corridor of Eternal Stench. It’s not
the first time, either. Over the years, various
unpleasant odours have taken up re[...]away? Should I purchase air—fresheners? Should
the whole thing simply be bricked up? Write what
you[...]oisome problem.

Do any of you read Doonesbury in the
Dominion? You know, that odd little cartoon that[...]” funnny;
quite often I’d smirk after reading the final panel.
However, now that Dubya has been el[...]ury has been transformed into a cartoon
worthy of thethe really nasty stuff,
anyway.

I walked through the Esplanade on my
way up here yesterday. It was about 8:15, and
though the morning traffic noise could be heard
in the distance, it was quite quiet just where I
was. Standing there, you could almost believe
(but for the noise) that there was no city just over
there, on[...]omeone to walk its trails. It occurred to me that
the Esplanade is a resource incredibly underused
by students, or at least those of you who live on
the north—east side of Fitzherbert Ave. The place
has lots of little corners and paths that constantly
invite exploration and the forgetting of worries —
and I have plenty of experience of how good it is
at that. So thethe most
important question to which you could answer[...]urse, differ.

Yours in investigation,
Maugan Ra, The Harvester Of Souls.

AOL Keyword

Dear Chaff,

As[...]ticed nowadays whenever
there is a movie promo at the end of it they show a
WWW address. Cool cool good idea. But have you
noticed what’s below the address? Well often it is
something like this: AO[...]be inundated with
porn sites from all corners of the globe. Hey, I
thought that circles didn’t have corners. Anyway.
AOL must be loving this advertising. In the future
we might have Coca Cola Cast: The people who
acted in the movie. And this whole web address
thing is more of an issue than you may think. For
example, I was at the cinema once and one of the
promos was for Lord of the Rings. But guess
what, their web address is not
www.lordoftherings.com, to the surprise of a
woman on my row. It is www.lordoftherings.net.
yes, .net. It does exist. The person who owns the
.com probably got offered a shitload but decided
“The book has more sentimental value to me than
money.[...]o you know what
a .com implies? Anyways check out the website
sometime it’s pretty cool.

Cylatter.co[...]hy don’t people wash their hands after going to
the bathroom?

I saw it in the Library this morning. And it’s
wrong. Think of all the surfaces we touch each
day: keyboards, door handl[...], who knows what’s out there. So to get
back to the original question, can someone tell me
why?

—[...]ome more of those

recycled paper writing pads in the Library that

MEG makes? They rock, and I use them all the
time. Everyone should use them.

— Matt

LETTER[...]an sign your
letters with a pseudonym but we need the real info
for legal reasons. This information wil[...]aterial. All this will earn you is a
fast trip to the rubbish bin.

5. Spelling will be corrected in le[...]r 300 words will have
priority to be printed.

7. The Editor reserves the right to censor or
abridge letters received in wh[...]be
deemed inappropriate, or simply too long.

8. The Editor reserves the right not to
publish letters. If this happens feel free to come
up to the Chaff office and discuss it.

9. The Editor reserves the right to offer
people / organisations named in letters immediate

reply.

AARIA CD WINNERS FROM ISSUE 17

The correct days to shade were:
The first Sunday of the month (5th)
The Friday of the second week (10th)

The 13th day of the month

Kelly Mac
Fiona Stephenson
Huia Naera
Sama[...]s Kereama
Albert Samuel
Susan Page

Come on up to the CHAFF oflice to collect
yoarpfize/

it

W/V/en/Z/m Baby’compet/t/on. ”

last wee/(is W/hner: A/o’an Harrison
Come up to the CHAFF 0/7766 to co//ect your prize!

[-1.] uwuluu}

The honeet professionala at Pit Stop
have new opened[...]n Ihe old Boiler house on Bourke Rd.

To [receive the best service drop M a X Pay n e
i111“ Pit Stfl[...]alk tfl Sill“ fir “lilac; Max Payne, one of the most anticipated games of 2001 was released recen[...]nment. Development first began back in 1995, with the compar3fy aiming
to try and bring the feel of an action movie to a PC title.
1 H I Unlike most contemporary games, Max Payne doesn’t unfold the story line
LOADED through fancy 3d cut scenes but[...]which
‘ does a good job of not only developing the plot but giving the game atmosphere. In the
HOG - game you play Max Payne — former NYPD off[...]agent hunting
' BLIC K for those responsible for the death of his wife and child. At first glance the storyline may
J sound old and cliched but as you play the game you realise the developers have gone out
of there way to fill the game with cliches from the action genres in order to keep that sense
of tension and action boiling over. The game’s noir tone which does an excellent job of us
convincing that the situation is as tense and gritty as it attempts to portray.

Max Payne is a played from the third person, players view the action over Max’s
shoulder as he confronts the various thugs, villains and gangsters that Max has to deal
with ah he progresses though the game. Continuing with the feel of an action movie when
in combat Max can strafe, dive behind cover and roll with ease to avoid to the bullets of his
opponents. What makes Max Payne stand out from other FPS games are the inclusion of a
feature called “Bullet time.” Max has the ability to slow down time until we can actually
see the bullets fly through the air (ala The Matrix), allowing Max to not only dodge bullets
b[...],
crisp looking game which realistically simulate the environs of New York, though it will
require a fairly decent computer to View the game at it’s best. The only downside to Max
Payne is the relatively short time it takes to play through the game, meaning thethe better software titles to come out this year.[...]'llim mm ill'dfi

A Good Time Ew'ery Time at The Hue

Directed by Werner Herzog

I don’[...]aims — I would suggest No—Hope—Devastation.
The Wrath of God follows the downward spiral of a mixed group of European missionaries
passing over the Andes en route to a civilized settlement of El De[...]through high rocky hills and lowland swamp jungle the group is forced, in
desperation, to send a company of forty down the river on rafts to investigate the land
ahead, and report back.

They never report back, and the main group left aside the river are not revisited in
the film, so I think it is safe to assume that all that remains of their mission are lost bones.
Thethe leader
overthrown and caged. A man has his head sliced clean off for planning to leave the
expedition and its self appointed cruel leader — Aguire. Those that are not killed by poison
arrows from the natives on the riverbank begin to hallucinate under the stress of hunger.

The last death in the final scene is that of Aguire. His hallucinations are full blown
as he plots the downfall of the Spanish empire under his fist, preaching to the remainder of
his crew — five dead men and hundreds of tiny invading spider monkeys.

The story is set somewhere in the seventeenth century, but apart from their clothing and
accessories this would be impossible to determine in the timelessness of the jungle. In
contrast to these missionaries, who are slow, hindered by the weight of chickens, a canon
and women in thrones, the natives are agile and stealth, appearing only to[...]It is of no surprise that all of these aliens to the jungle
could not survive its justice.

Redeeming this grim story is the setting — vast river shots, giant river whirlpools,
with the encroaching and feared jungle on either side of the relative safety of the river.
Overall the film was enjoyable, if not horrifying, with the richness of the setting leaving the
biggest impression

Stevo’s Festival Film a Day[...]d. You will be scared, you will be on edge. Catch the sequel later in the festival
also by Nakata Hideo.

Tuesday August 14[...]ll areas. Three stories diverge from a car crash. The
illegal dogfight, which initiates the crash, gives you an idea of the type of people involved. The
storyline hops back, forward and sideways in time keeping you involved as the stories weave
in and out of each other until ever[...]a must see.

Wednesday August 15“I 6.30pm Rain

The New Zealand film, which was featured in the Director’s fortnight at Cannes
this year, is wo[...]what that entails.
Things become complicated with the discovery of mother’s affair and her interest i[...]e.

Thursday August 16“I 6.15pm Elvis: That’s the Way It Is

His 1970 Las Vegas concert film has been significantly touched up. Gone are the boring
interviews and in comes more music in a new sound mix, which should sound terrific in
cinema 8. The film works best in capturing Elvis as a person f[...]rs. And of course there’s his music. An icon of the 20th
century in glorious close—up.

Friday Augu[...]macy

You can’t avoid hearing about this film. The media have focussed on New
Zealander Kerry Fox’s involvement in the “real” sex on screen. The British press have even
had the stopwatch out stating 35 minutes of the 119 minute running time is taken up with
explicit[...]l.

Saturday August 18“I 8.15pm State and Main

The director David Mamet is one of the best writers in current cinema. He is spot
on with his depiction of the influence on a small Vermont town by a film crew and
ultimately how movies impact on our lives. All the usual suspects are in this crew; the
womanising movie star, the blonde bimbo, the manipulative director and aggressive
producer. The excellent cast of William H Macy, Alec Baldwin, Philip Hoffman and Sarah
Jessica Parker relish in the superbly written script and provide plenty of keenly observed
laughter.

Sunday August 19“I 1pm The Turandot Project

If the only image you have of opera is chubby women in horned helmets then give
this behind the scenes documentary about the staging of Puccini’s Turandot a go. Turandot
is[...]can’t answer three riddles but refuses to marry the man who can. The opera is due to
staged in Beijing’s Forbidden City and the enormity of this undertaking is revealed i[...]

Now there’s one about “When Good
Docto[...]ts mean misdiagnoses are easily made...and
one of the doctors on the show, who almost
killed his patient however many years ago, was
speaking out for THE FIRST TIME SINCE. And
still practising as a doctor! Scary stuff, but a bit
more relevant to Kiwis (given the calls for
increased funding of the health system) than
another repeat of “America’s Kookiest Wedding
Mistakes”.

Similarly scary is the new series on TV3
on Monday nights — “The FBI Files”. For those of
you who are missing CS[...]k. But this time it’s
real life cases solved by the FBI — this is both a
good and a bad thing.

Goo[...]ducted from her own slumber party (and I
wasn’t the only one in the Chaff Office who was
spooked) — but it’s bad[...]ll, Anne Nordhaus, John Leigh and Kirk
Torrance.

The New Zealand film industry is unique and
varied. The problem is that there are too many films that we[...]e surprised if he did. Another similarity is
that the bar that is on the line if the boys lose. Owned by
local drunk Dave (John Leigh, AKA Shan‘land Street’s
Lionel), the bar is having serious financial difficulties, a[...].

Similarities end there.

We are guided through the movie by a Magic 8 Ball,
and our host, the not—so—friendly Holden (Torrance), who
takes us through each step of the competition and the game
of pool itself. Holden doubles as Daddy’s[...]s sinister figure also act as a strange ally for the boys
in their quest to win.

The three main characters live their lives and play
their games in very different ways. Jack (Magasiva) is the
leader of the trio. Calm, cool and able to charm the socks
off any female that walks in the room, Jack plays his pool
the same way, calculating his next shot, though he is more
likely to remember the name of the bar they are playing at
next than the name of the woman waking up beside him.

Thomas (Rotando) is the Sensitive New—Aged Guy.
His game, like his life[...]verything goes
wrong. Either way, he always plays the cautious shot.

Wayne (Wills) is that person you know who always
manages to say the worst possible thing at the worse
possible time. The highlight of the movie is the legendary
Drunken (Pool) Master scene.

The love interests, in the loosest sense of the word,

The Cider
House Rules

Dir Lasse Hallstrom
Starring T[...]Caine and Paul Rudd

Okay admittedly this is not the type of movie I’d
normally choose to see, but it’s the price we pay in the
pursuit of... well you know. But I was surprised,[...]ingly
portrayed. Although it is not for everyone, The Cz'derHouse
Rules has a strong plot and good stor[...]of movies I’ve seen recently. I haven’t read
the John Irving novel but if it’s true that no movie is as
good as the book, it must be pretty good.

Tobey Maguire port[...]Wells, an orphan
in 1940s Maine who is adopted by the orphanage’s
director, Dr. Wilbur Larch (Michael Caine). Larch grooms
Homer for a career in medicine and the inheritance of the
institution, but Homer isn’t overly interested in the idea.
He wants to see for himself what the world has to offer. He
leaves the orphanage with Wally (Paul Rudd) and Candy
(Charlize Theron) who came to the Dr Larch for the special
service he provides, for unmarried couple[...]picking apples and
living with migrant workers in the “cider house” of the
title. He learns about the compromises in life made in the
face of arbitrary “rules”, as symbolised by the absurd list
posted in the cider house. Homer ends up having a
relationship[...]h very little active
pursuit, (some guys have all the luck) while Wally is
overseas fighting in World War II. Why Wally volunteered
for one of the most dangerous assignments in the war and

appear in the forms of Karen (Kessell) and Sara
(Nordhaus). Karen becomes the next notch in Jack’s
bedpost, whereas Sara could potentially be the new love of
Thomas’s life. However the girls have a hidden agenda.

Stickmen is another step forward in the New
Zealand film industry. Some of the dialogue was a little
cliched (ie the bitch / slut conversation) but perhaps the
overseas audiences will find it witty and origin[...]ome I really don’t know, however this
ends with the return of Wally after being shot down over
Burma.

As the story progresses, Homer’s firm anti—
abortion stance, one of the reasons he left the orphanage,
is challenged when an incestuous situa[...]hing leads to a change of view by Homer,
and with the death of Dr Larch he returns to the
orphanage. Caine — who took home an Academy Award — is
the highlight, (not counting Charlize), howeve[...]

Chris Rock is a funny man, the undisputed king
of black comedy. His stand up and[...]has also starred in Lethal Weapon 4,
Kevin Smiths the Dogma, and the excellent Nurse Betty,
finally gets his first leading role in Down T 0 Earth. The film
is based on Warren Beatty’s Heaven Can Wa[...]ed on a movie called Here Comes Mr
Jordan (1941/. The directors of this second remake are
Chris and Paul Weitz, who made the teen comedy
Amenban Pie.

Rock plays Lance Barton[...]truggling amateur comedian. After being booed off the
stage at his last gig, things go from bad to wors[...]y since his old one is
unusable. In order to meet the woman of his dreams, he
decides to temporarily re[...]llionaire.

Although there is certainly potential the movie
becomes too predictable, and despite the comic talent of
Rock it fails to fire. What does saves the movie is the
humourous supporting cast, and when Rock gets to be
himself its actually funny. The opening scene is a prime
example of this, where R[...]mon knowledge that most Hollywood
movies end with the formation of the happy couple, even if
romance is not a major component of the plot, and in the
hands of the right people, this can be done very
successfully. However, although the final clinch is a
feature of many very good movi[...]true formula can also be a film’s fatal flaw.
The premise of Heartbreakers is very simple:

1. Moth[...]y Weaver) marries dupe with buckets
of moolah and the sensibility of a cockroach;

2. Daughter (Jennife[...]ch
into compromising position;

3. Mother catches the pair inflagrante dellbto;

4. Disgraced cockroac[...]nt;

5. Lather, rinse and repeat.

Unfortunately, the makers of the film are also
very simple. The potential for genuine side—splitting
comedy get[...]ily have been
cut without alienating or confusing the audience.

It’s not all bad. There are some goo[...]en’t I?” (bringing to mind images of not
only The Sopranos, but all the mob roles Liotta himself
has played in the past). Also, Jason Lee (usually seen in
the likes of Dogma and Chasing Amy) plays the straight
guy to JLH’s OTT wacko proficiently,[...]eing stymied
by Kevin Smith’s ‘direction’.

The pros, though, are outweighed by the cons,
and dear lord that must be thethe film’s
downfalls — well, the most obvious one is (all together
now!) Jennifer[...]s is more believable.

Now Showing:

PLANET OF THE APES
THE ANIMAL
HEARTBREAKERS
THERE'S ONLY ONE JIMMY
GRIMBLE
SHREK
SWORDFISH
BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY
FINAL FANTASY: THE
SPIRITS WITHIN
EVOLUTION
SEXY BEAST
THE MUMMY RETURNS

DOWN TO EARTH
MOULIN ROUGE
PEARL H[...]APTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN

to be rolling down the aisles laughing. Unfortunately I found BLOW
mysel[...]ARE LIMITED TO ONE PER
PERSON
Correctly identify the film below and
go in the draw to win a double
movie pass from
Downtown Cinema 8.

Leave your entries in the CHAFF
mailbox or email them with all the
necessary details and ‘movie comp'

in the subject heading to

chaff.ed@musa.0rg.nz
Entries close Wed 5pm.

Secondly, the girl can’t act. There, I said it. She is painfully
talentless. And the director tries to distract the audience’s
attention from this fact by having h[...]o — plot and acting skills being subservient to the size
of ones ‘lungs’).

Last week’s answer: Star Wars Episode
V: The Empire Strikes Back

Heartbreakers could have bee[...]Wlnners:
it if had been a little nastier, and if the nature of the I I
characters had not changed partway through. T[...]ld maxim about leopards changing their spots that the D bf”:
es

writers were clearly unaware of (or deliberately ignoring),
and the result is an ending riddled with plotholes large[...]elp.

Matthew Keene
Justin Orsborn

Come on up to the CHAFF office to
collect your prize!

23

N[...]

Dear Uncle Trev,

Recently I have been[...]e.

have hired a secretary to read and answer all the letters that have flooded my private bag 3) wait three months.

ieeated up in the Chaff thee- When i Say “hired” i Of course me[...]ourse mean Midge. In fact if I was to correct all the inaccuracies of the necessary,

firSt Sentence 1 WOUid be here 311 d[...]jects, preferably onto some sort of hard surface.
The latest from the Aunt Midge saga is that she has finally discover[...]like to COhtaet me jUSt drop Off your ietters in the Chaff ietterb°X> be a checkout operator. But thi[...]Recently I had sex with a boy who thought he was the “ever-ready bunny.” He
Ever since those femal[...]rs.

to surpass us men- Originally females wanted the same rights as men. but it has How should I tell him to (literally) “hurry the fuck up” without hurting his feelings?

come to my attention that they are treated much better on the Massey Campus

than us men. I recently found out[...]dom,

this mysterious room which I have never had thethe same opportunities and resources- so, Where would[...]another. Normally this occurs at three o’clock
the room for “5 men to drink our free beer?? in the morning with a chick you don’t even remember me[...]e hurried things along a

t t t . bit. I’m sure the boy was just as bored as you were, after all if it took him two hours to
The funny thing abOUt femihiStS is that he matter how[...]gh he was obviously not

abOUt disempewermeht and the inequality 0f Sexes, he‘ehe gives a toss- The more they helping the situation along with his monotonous love—making, I’m surprised he didn’t get
rave the iess we care- in my View Sympathy is net something that can be Obtained by bored and bugger off out the toilet window, that’s what a real man would hav[...]n at e minute wonder.” Next time try to aim for the middle ground, this way you will avoid any
not horses, after all horses can’t use thethe joys of urinals. The fact that there is also a free phone at springs t0 mind.
their disposal just sort of rubs salt into the tough and never complaining male hides.
There are[...]a cool beer while at Massey. Before I go here is the quote for the week _
The audio—visual room in the Library springs to mind with its ready supply of[...]phic). Alternatively you could always just sit at the

6.; Study these great Liquerland deals!

Tm?[...]d Bro w ad: var Barth-awe 52 Girl,

Bflflfbfl" Vfldkfi‘ Mad Jacks Ram or
HEEmi 1 mm Mis[...]

May the stars be W/Z‘h you.

_r’ ' I". ..__ - __.'—[...]inadvertently combine extreme

advice last week, the stars would be
smiling upon you. Unfortunately,
U[...]e aware of it, but
your dodgy nature
will come to the
fore this week. Be
careful — the stars say that there are
certain people close to[...]perhaps
predictably, you will discover that
with the exception of the court
summons, and the rates bill, none of
it is for you.
Lucky Pizza: Seafood

a...

This week you will
feel on top of the
world.
CANCER“ Unfortunately, an
inner ear infe[...]cken

Go on, throw that

L E D computer out the
window. You know you want to.
Lucky Pizza: Hawaii[...]IF! on

this week you will
receive a warning
from the Universe. Expect tech
students, multisided dice a[...]u just heard was a collective
sigh of relief from the
Wallpaperers’ Collective — you’ve
been givi[...]za: BBQ Chicken

SEERFIQ

' !
iii/

— ' ' ‘ ' The awful
5A arr TAM us grating

sound of metal on metal when
someone is eating creamed rice
from a tin with a metal spoon
will drive you over the edge. Stay
away from humour columnists.
Lucky Piz[...]l cloud

your week. But actually you
won’t mind the rumour about a
certain asset...people will believ[...]exhibit excessively
enthusiastic kung fu moves in
the confines of a small room.
Lucky Pizza: Kiwiana[...]ff
Shortland St is just sick. And I
don’t think the cream cheese is
a good idea.

Lucky Pizza: Cheese[...]ynt, you’re covered in blood!” Deacon gasped. The crowd in
the street began to gather round the remains of Mrs
Dickinson’s dog.

“What the hell?” J asine exclaimed, pushing her way to the
frount of the crowd.

The sun was rising higher in the sky, and seagulls had begun
to circle the flooded street. The smell of fish rose also.
Suddenly there was a scream from two houses down.

Deacon and Flynt rushed to the scene to find a dead shark on
McGilvie’s front[...]up from a dream at any
second” Flynt replied.

The display on thethe couch during the storm.
“What the —?” He sighed, rubbing his eyes.

J asine gro[...]m last night” Flynt said to her, as he stood
at the window, half looking at the storm—beaten street, and half
watching her reflection in thethe story or not?”
Suddenly a dishevelled envelope flitted past outside.

“The mail” Jasine said, “I’m gonna get the mail.

J asine trodded the wet path to the mailbox. She gasped when
she opened it and looked[...]torming inside and throwing a shiny red
nose onto the floor before her. “This was in the box!”

The other flatmates stirred, Deacon rubbed his eyes.

“It was him! He was here!” Jasine fled from the room, avoiding
any more questions from her curious flatmates. The night
before had taken its toll on them all.

Sha[...]“Wow, look at that!” She yawned, pointing out thethe kitchen.

“Dunno” Flynt replied. “Where’s the kitty?”

“Here kitty—kitty—kitty” the flatmates each called as they moved
around the house.

“She’s not in your lab is she?” Shady asked Rom. “She might
have hidden there from the lightning.”

“I hope not” Rom said. “I shut the door, but you know how she
has a habit of getting into all kinds of places.”

The four raced down the stairs from the linen cupboard and
began to search through Rom’[...]on” Rom said, pointing to a large red
button on the wall.

Shady moved closer to a large stack of alu[...]y see
anything” Deacon said, fumbling around in the dark.

“The back up blew last night in the storm” Rom replied.

He flicked on a torch and shone it around the darkened lab.
“Fark!” Shady exclaimed.

The four flatmates stopped in their tracks, as Rom shone the
torch beam back and forth along the wall.

There, scratched into the aluminum crates, were the biggest
claw marks the four had ever seen.

“That’s it” Flynt said, throwing his arms in the air, “I’m outta
here!”

III The Itaisuaa

III Dim—IEI

III High Daaatdart

III[...]II ttiIIIIDaIIErIda'IIII !III-- a III'I'UIIIE
III The Su‘alirnit-a Ia- ..I Had 't.iIaIt'

“Hummer A[...]] rhna IIIIIIIiaI - SaIt'IIuII |'=II'III.I! 'II
D The Sum minala - LI'tla: Stale

FMNBW

11nd ga[...]

Drop your classified in the CHAFF
mailbox outside Tra Baci, or email
to the editor:

chaff.ed@musa.org.nz

Be sure to type CLASSIFIED in the
subject box!

All advertising enquiries should be[...]kers and fabric paint are
needed. Donation box at the MUSA
office.

Vegetarian flatmate wanted for ce[...]or Semester 2

Wednesday 12.00 noon to 1.00 pm at the Old
Main Building Auditorium.

15 Aug Saxcess

22[...]r CV or gracing your mantle piece. Not to
mention the FREE Dinner and hand shake from
the Chancellor or Vice-Chancellor. Forms are
availabl[...]CESA. BUT HURRY - absolute closing
date is end of the week.

Phone SAM ext. 4312 for any further detail[...]t to compete/ attend,
information is available at the Rec. Whitehouse
Ask Sam ext. 4312

Volleyball lea[...]But you’ll have to register
immediately. Games start 15th August that’s this
Wednesday. Register at the Rec. Centre or phone
Sam! ext. 4312

RECREATION C[...]r details.

Skis and snowboards can be hired from the Ski 11
Sport Shop at the Recreation Centre.

HOSTEL STUDENTS:

We have a contact with Russell Athletic - the people
who make Hoodies and sweatshirts for all the USA
Universities. They are excellent quality and[...]ook for more info in
Chaff issue 27/8.

Come join the new and improved...

Massey Athletics club. With access to the brand
new IAAF standard track opposite the rugby
institute.

Memberships: $20 valid until Ju[...]7 356 8561. MUSA Mailbox 31.

Did you find it?

The Library will be conducting a Materials
Availability Survey at all campuses during the week
starting Monday 6 August 2001. The survey is
designed to measure whether the Library holds
what you are looking for, and what proportion is
available and on the shelf at the time you need it.
Results will be used to improve the collection,
catalogue and shelving. Your support[...]a seminar/ workshop / prayer/ discussion - check
the programme below to see what’s on each
Thursday.

Catholics on Campus July - August Programme
16 Aug Mary, the first disciple - who was Mary
and what was she really like? A seminar with
Judith Campbell of the Bishop’s Pastoral Team.
23 Aug A Consistent Eth[...]nologies
and more. A seminar with Rex Begley from the
Diocesan Centre.

30 Aug Take a study break and come for a treat -
lunch provided by the chaplains.

Phone Hannah 354 8030 for more information.

Massey Toastmasters Club

Learn the art of public speaking in a
supportive environment. The Massey Toastmasters
Club meets every Wednesday from 12-1 pm in the
Old Main Building room MB 2.01 ground level.
Bring your lunch, and enjoy the meeting.

Public speaking and giving
presentations in front of a class is the fear of many
people. The skills you learn from Toastmasters will
help you[...]y Toastmasters Club is busy
planning to celebrate the club’s 20‘h birthday with
a dinner meeting on Saturday evening, the 25th
August, at the Sherwood Motor Inn, on
Featherston Street, to celebrate all the wonderful
happenings in our club through the last 20 years.

We have a special after dinner
sp[...]ler extraordinary, has agreed to
be our guest for the evening.

I would like to extend an invitation to[...]almerston North
Ph 06 357 7435

MMMMMM

Come join the new and improved Massey
Athletics Club

With access to the brand new IAAF standard track
opposite the Rugby Institute

Memberships: $20 valid until Jun[...]George McConachy, and associate
memberships with the Palmerston North Athletic
and Harrier club.

Cont[...]356 8561 for more information.
Email: rees.harley@start.com.au

Housing Horror

Needed: True life stories[...]ct at

each campus, or email contacgtbmasseyacnz

The Australian National University Scholarships:
Applications are invited for a Summer Research
Scholarship at the Australian National University for
undergraduates[...]s thinking of
Honours or postgraduate research in the future. The
Scholarship includes full board at an on-campus c[...]in various subjects. For further
information see the Summer Research Scholarship
program website at: h[...]ate / srs / .
Applications close 31 August 2001.

The Macmillan Brown Prize for Writers: The
competition shall be open to all undergraduates o[...]riate form, dealing
imaginatively with any theme. The current value of the
prize is $1,000. Compositions must be received by[...]plied science and who has a specific interest in the
citrus or the sub-tropical industry or to assist a
research project that is likely to make a contribution to
the citrus or sub-tropical industry. Awards of up to[...]31 August 2001.

French Teaching Assistantships: The French Ministry
of Education makes awards annuall[...]itions as Assistants in French secondary schools.
The cost of travel to and from France / New Caledonia/
French Polynesia is to be borne by the applicant. The
assistantships are for a period of 8 months and a[...]August 2001.

Jade Award: This award is funded by the Aoraki
Corporation Ltd and was set up to assist a[...]ng to a qualification in
information technology. The award of $2,000 shall be
used to help fund studie[...]A accredited
educational or training institution. The successful
applicant will be announced in October[...]been studying extramurally at Massey
University. The value of each award is $800.
Candidates must have[...]1 September 2001.

NOTICEBOARDS ARE AVAILABLE AT THE
FOLLOWING LOCATIONS:

SOCIAL SCIENCES LECTURE BLO[...]ACADEMIC UNIT

WANT TO LIVE AND
WORK IN A PUB IN
THE UK?

VISIT

www.|ondonpub.co.nz

Applied h[...]

4. Nathan Astle, the rest of us suck — though they did
try hard, but Astle keeps holding the team together
with his batting skills. Recorded two tons to anchor our
efforts, pity most of the time it’s in vain. It’s that damn
curry they’re getting served . . .

3. Maurice Green, the fastest man on the planet
recorded his third straight 100m chamipons[...]brother, Maz, and
coming up tops in Australia in the surfing
championships. Top effort across the Tasman against
some of the world’s best, made even sweeter by beating
the Aussies on their own surf.

1. Australian Cricket Team, beat England, again. The
current side and squad of around 16 players can put
it’s hand up for the best test team of all time. Steve
Waugh is one of the great sporting leaders of this
generation. When is the last time England beat these
guys in a series?

N[...]starting lineup until a day out from round
one of the NPC. Just name it and change it with a
game time decision if it means that much.

4. Black Caps, after a solid win, they went down the
crapper, as even when they posted a strong score,[...]cold, but losing their 14 game
winning streak to the worst team, Otago, is not really
anything to writ[...]ys (with their
rugby team, netball team etc...)

*The New Zealand Warriors once again have their own
sp[...]f never stringing together more
than four wins on the trot — could this be the way they
will end the year?

Massey Soccer Pool Comp.

Monday the 23rd of July saw a night described as
“Monday Madness” descend on the Break pool bar. Over
fifty keen competitors descended on the tables designated as
Massey’s own for the night. Whether it was the pool comp
or the rather generous bar tab that they came for we sha[...]cial’ cue, chalk
and world championship medals, the scene was set for a
night of high quality pool. U[...]y pool played by some very drunk soccer
players.

The first bone of contention was the drawing of the
mixed doubles, while the hat that the names came out of
was said to be unbiased, some disgruntled wannabes
indicated that the Chilean hand of god that drew the names
should be hit rather hard with some handily placed pieces of
wood.

However once the dust settled, pool play was
commenced with the first round of singles. Unluckily for
some, the Spanish—speaking drawer of names had caused
most of the recognised better players to play each other in
the early rounds thus causing one side of the draw to play
some very high quality pool while the other managed to limp
along playing what could loosely described as mediocre pool.

Points to note about the singles that was that
Handles after choosing to opt out of the doubles to ‘focus’ on
the singles comp only was knocked out in the first round.
He then proceeded to drown his sorrows in one dollar beers
for the rest of the night. Triple D cruised through the early
rounds and missed the harder portion of the draw and then
poached some victories to proceed into the final. Jon came
through the other side of the draw to take the second final
spot. A recently returned Roxy and President Clegg were the

Warriors Tame Pussies

The New Zealand Warriors. The most inconsistent
team in New Zealand sporting hi[...]ay from Ericsson Stadium, they got off to
a quick start, very different than their usual ‘down 20—4 at
the half, lets lose respectably’ efforts of previou[...]y found themselves up 12—0 just 12 minutes into the
game, and thus were preparing for a rare away win — then
the perennial short slump set in. The tackles were soft,
passes stopped sticking, and the defence opened up more
than the Rotary Hoe after two rum and cokes.

The Panthers scored five unanswered tries, and it
could have been more had the Warriors not grown some
nads and played hard and[...]y Jones proved once again
that he is a force with the ball in his hands, directing traffic
like an ecc[...]his team—mates, and his two tries, particularly the
second individual one, were just rewards for his high
workrate.

Another standout for the Warriors was big winger
Francis Meli, who had two tries, one of which was either the
worst displays of tackling seen this season — or, an amazing
array of stepping skills from the talented young winger. You
decide . . .

Ivan Cleary had a strong game, and he has filled
the goal—kicking void well that previous Warriors t[...]his season kicking
percentage to a healthy 80%.

The Warriors face the Sharks, Roosters and the
Storm in the coming weeks — thus they have no easy wins to
reach the semis. They are all vital for the Warriors to win, to
cement their first playoff b[...]hland $150.00

beaten semi—finalists. In the final Dan emerged victorious
from the ruckus to emerge victorious and take the
inaugural Massey Soccer open singles comp.

The pace of the doubles comp resembled a bit
more of a stagnant s[...]w of competition. However
Tiger managed to juggle the competitors around and play
continued at snail pa[...]ooking or who had more
power over playing time on the weekend.

In the final of the doubles competition a close
fought battle was bet[...]ted of
Michelle and her team coach, Robbo. During the game
Diesel raised several key questions as to why straight shots
were magically bouncing near the pockets but not going in.
Easing Diesel’s problem Robbo began to display the pool
playing ability of a chimpanzee on ecstasy w[...]stepped up and sunk five balls in a turn. Seeing the
odds stacked against her, Michelle swapped alliances and
proceeded to assist Diesel to take the match leaving a
bitter and disillusioned Robbo to[...]was had by those who
attended and drunkenness was the winner on the night.
Apologies from Tiger for those that waited long periods
without games but that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

F ‘

fall!“ off

the edge 0!
cunmmmns

nun-um mm 1m-
rim-idler![...]

. . . Registry, Clubs Development Officer (Sam Lamb), The
Entnes for the Massey Un1vers1ty Blues and Cultural White House,[...]lications Now Open

Freemasons value knowledge as the source of individual freedom, understanding and tolerance.
These fundamental masonic beliefs are the reason the University Scholarships programme
is a traditional feature amongst all the many charitable works of this ancient and honoura[...]completing a Masters degree
with Honours or up to the first year of a two—year Masters degree with th[...]ed 59 0 Number to be awarded 7

Details only from the scholarship offices of participating Universities[...]y, Lincoln, Massey, Otago, Victoria, and Waikato

V0? NZ FREEMASONS

What is Freemasonry?... G[...]

The success of the K’s leads us into our major topic for
the week, that being Age—Grade Rugby. How can a tea[...]secondly there has been an
alarming fall away in the depth of Manawatu Age Grade
players. From informal research we have come to the
conclusion that it is the second possibility. We have thought
of several re[...]cation, which drives a lot of good players out Of the
region looking for opportunities to further their[...]ormer K’s and Colt players.
And we came up with the following suggestions to remedy
this dilemma:

-[...]ht, Bob
Burgess, Kent Lambert, Mark Donaldson.

- The Rugby Union develop alternate career paths other[...]g. apprenticeships, career
employments.

- Use of the sports facility at Massey University to develop
a[...]s including

MON TUES WED THURS FRI

If the depth can be developed using some of these
sugges[...]atter of time before it
starts to filter through the Age Grade comp on to senior
footy and finally rep footy. As ultimately success will be
the only way to ensure that depth and playing numbers[...]rom that we would like to once again
congratulate the KS on their victory — this article was not
mean[...]there is however a feeling of deflation, in how the
KS got treated by the club. There was no tickertape
parade for these bo[...]nt that leads these exciting young players out Of
the Varsity clubs into clubs who are more appreciative of
the younger teams and their players in general. No bu[...]to point out while we
are in a critical mood, is the nonevent Of the clubrooms
once the A’s finished. The last two weekends there has
basically been no clubrooms, which with the majority Of
our teams still playing, to put it mi[...]is these albeit minor incidents that go to create
the major dissatisfactions within the club.

Moving along, to an exciting conclusion to[...]ultimately been a bitch session, we apologize for the
negative tone to our otherwise positive intentions.

Lastly we hope that at the time you are reading this that
Varsity is celebrating back to back victories for the BaBa’s
in the Senior 4th’s comp and an all Varsity final in the
Colts A comp. Go Hard Team L’s!

Thought for the week, could the only team to

match the KS next year possibly be a blast from the past,
the MIGHTY F’S!?

Last word goes to Oroua Alcoholic[...]inor surprises you may be interested in reading.

THE FITZ 35TH

BIRTHDAY
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TXT

Let us paint a picture here. Let us assume that the road you are on has a sealed shoulder of[...]about .98 of a second for you to drive off the shoulder and off the road. If you are travelling at
120 km/h[...]t to
get to our destination faster. And the less time we’re on the road, we reason, the less likely we
are to crash.[...]ing in a
wheelchair. Ten minutes versus the eternity of being dead.

So, we[...]

Episode V[...]day, with a popular movie comes merchandising and the star wars saga has
“Anger… Fear… Aggression… The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they been heav[...]dised. Lucas once said “we market everything in the movie. That’s
flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start own the dark path, forever will it what keeps funding the other things we do – the computer research and all the other
dominate your destiny...”. Master Yoda’s warning to Luke signifies a mood shift in the things. Again, people tend to look at m[...]an evil thing. But ultimately, a lot
series. The Empire Strikes Back is by far the darkest of the Original Trilogy, and of fun things come out of it, and at the same time it pays for the overhead of the company
considered by many diehard fans to be the best. The opening battle scene is incredible, and[...]ugh to a chase through an asteroid field and into the belly proved to be very popular over the years. In fact, over $3 billion has been made on
of a giant space worm. We are also introduced to the 800 year old Jedi Master, Yoda, merchandising alone.
and Boba Fett, a fan favourite. The film culminates in a duel where Darth Vader makes At the moment George Lucas is the richest, most powerful independent
the shocking revelation: ‘No, I am your father’.[...]filmmaker in the world. Sure, I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of the saga unfold,[...]May the Force be you, always.

“Leia, L[...]eavily criticized by more cynical fans, Return of the Bevan Jackson
Jedi is the final chapter in the six part series (Unless Lucas changes his mind ag[...]s get personal. I staunchly
defend Return of the Jedi. It might have something to do with it being the first Star
Wars movie I ever saw. I went to see it on the big screen when I was five. It didn’t make
a hell of a lot of sense. But I was scared to death of the Rancor, I wanted an a pet Ewok
and I was mesmerized by the space battle at the end. Although the Ewok Yub Yub song
at the end of the original did suck. Thank god they replaced[...]

Episode V[...]day, with a popular movie comes merchandising and the star wars saga has
“Anger… Fear… Aggression… The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they been heav[...]dised. Lucas once said “we market everything in the movie. That’s
flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start own the dark path, forever will it what keeps funding the other things we do – the computer research and all the other
dominate your destiny...”. Master Yoda’s warning to Luke signifies a mood shift in the things. Again, people tend to look at m[...]an evil thing. But ultimately, a lot
series. The Empire Strikes Back is by far the darkest of the Original Trilogy, and of fun things come out of it, and at the same time it pays for the overhead of the company
considered by many diehard fans to be the best. The opening battle scene is incredible, and[...]ugh to a chase through an asteroid field and into the belly proved to be very popular over the years. In fact, over $3 billion has been made on
of a giant space worm. We are also introduced to the 800 year old Jedi Master, Yoda, merchandising alone.
and Boba Fett, a fan favourite. The film culminates in a duel where Darth Vader makes At the moment George Lucas is the richest, most powerful independent
the shocking revelation: ‘No, I am your father’.[...]filmmaker in the world. Sure, I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of the saga unfold,[...]May the Force be you, always.

“Leia, L[...]eavily criticized by more cynical fans, Return of the Bevan Jackson
Jedi is the final chapter in the six part series (Unless Lucas changes his mind ag[...]s get personal. I staunchly
defend Return of the Jedi. It might have something to do with it being the first Star
Wars movie I ever saw. I went to see it on the big screen when I was five. It didn’t make
a hell of a lot of sense. But I was scared to death of the Rancor, I wanted an a pet Ewok
and I was mesmerized by the space battle at the end. Although the Ewok Yub Yub song
at the end of the original did suck. Thank god they replaced[...]

Let us paint a picture here. Let us assume that the road you are on has a sealed shoulder of[...]about .98 of a second for you to drive off the shoulder and off the road. If you are travelling at
120 km/h[...]t to
get to our destination faster. And the less time we’re on the road, we reason, the less likely we
are to crash.[...]ing in a
wheelchair. Ten minutes versus the eternity of being dead.

So, we[...]